Dreaming of your future in Fairfax? Consider these benefits of Pre-marital or Pre-commitment Counseling

Fairfax, Virginia has created a reputation for itself which includes great diversity, renowned public schools, endless housing options as well as proximity to various business and government organizations across all industries. Fairfax can also be a wonderful combination of suburban and urban amenities for all partnerships. It’s a desirable community for a couple looking to set down some roots.

With all that’s been mentioned, it’s no surprise Fairfax attracts so many newly married couples. If you and your partner are considering Fairfax as a place to begin your marriage or higher level of commitment such as moving in together or starting a family, it’s important to consider pre-marital or pre-commitment counseling to support stability and connection in a wonderful, yet fast-paced and high-stress community. Consider these benefits to premarital or pre-commitment counseling whether you currently reside in Fairfax or plan to settle down in this lovely area.

Understanding the Way You Communicate

In all relationships, we create patterns. You might be noticing that pattern already exists within your relationship that hinders or perhaps prohibit effective communication. Living in Fairfax requires effective communication as you both grapple with the stressors of life – the high cost of living, the large population, and the high-pressure work environments. When working with our skilled pre-commitment or pre-marital therapists, you and your partner will map out how you communicate with another and how your different ways of dealing with emotion, tension, or upset may be creating a well-worn ‘dance’. You will understand how perceptions, meaning-making, and past relationship experiences might be getting in the way of really hearing and understanding one another.

Intentionally Create A Shared Future

With a better understanding of your communication patterns and cycles, you will be able to discuss potential challenges or vulnerabilities, as well as future goals, more successfully. Together, you can build a life in Fairfax with a partnership that is satisfying, connected, and able to withstand the challenges of life as they arise. Additionally, if you already have children, or hope to add children to your family, it can be helpful to think through parenting, extended family, spiritual beliefs, and goals for your family life in Fairfax.

Deepen Your Emotional Connection

As our couples therapists can guide you and your partner in understanding your communication patterns, while supporting discussions around the future, and offer space for your emotional connection to deepen. Our therapists have a skilled way of encouraging each of you in turning toward one another and sharing your longings and fears as you prepare for your relationship to grow, and marriage or next-steps to begin. Our therapists will be alongside your relationship, supporting you to overcome any conversation or issue that may be difficult to navigate. Ultimately, supporting each of you to feel seen, understood and heard in your relationship.

Pre-marital and pre-commitment counseling with our skilled and trained couples therapists will support your relationship to start off in a healthy place as you start your future in Fairfax.  For more information please see our pre-marital and pre-commitment therapy page here.

Interested in Couples Therapy or Sex Therapy in Fairfax?

If you and your partner are ready to mix things up and improve your relationship, our couples’ therapists can help. We have counseling offices in both Woodbridge and Fairfax, VA. If you want to begin couples therapy or marriage counseling, just follow these simple steps:

Schedule an appointment at one of our convenient locations in Woodbridge or Fairfax.

Meet with a skilled couples therapist.

Begin to explore connection and confidence as a couple.

Other Therapy Services at The Center for Connection, Healing and Change

Relationship problems are complicated and often individual members of your family need additional support. Our therapists want to help support your entire family. Therefore, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our Northern Virginia counseling offices. Our skilled, caring therapists provide counseling for individuals, family therapy, sex therapy, yoga for healing, meditation and mindfulness practice, couples therapy and marriage counseling. When you are ready, we would be honored to be a part of your relationship journey.

What to do together when school is out? Recommendations for Fairfax families

 

Schools are closed and daycare centers are enjoying well-deserved time off over the Holidays. Does this leave you wondering how you’ll spend the extra family time together? I’ve compiled a list of activities in the Fairfax area for people of all ages to enjoy! This list is a great resource for this long vacation, as well as upcoming snow days. These activities are sure to give your family quality time, outside of the home, sparking creativity and connection while beinqg active right in the Fairfax Community.

Children’s Science Center – Fairfax, Fair Oaks Mall

The Children’s Science Center in Fairfax’s Fair Oaks Mall is an interactive, collaborative learning center focused on science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) exhibits. Your family can create, build, discover, and explore the endless exhibits with various challenges and crafts throughout your visit. The Science Center is for ages 2 and above, focusing on elementary school kids. However, there is plenty to enjoy for younger teenagers as well! A family outing sure to create enjoyable memories around innovation and learning.

Udvar Hazy – Chantilly

Steven F. Udvar Hazy Center in Fairfax’s neighboring town of Chantilly is another great option for a family outing. The expansive warehouse gives the kids room to run and witness the various air crafts used throughout history. This hanger also includes airspace crafts, an IMAX theatre, and the Donald D. Engen Observation Tower to observe airplanes arriving and departing from Dulles Airport. This is a family favorite outing of mine for the Winter due to the indoor walking and exploring to move our bodies and exposure to history.

Next Stop Theatre – Herndon

If you are looking for some more culture in your family, but don’t have the budget or patience to venture out to DC. There is a great option for you much closer to Fairfax. Next Stop Theatre is a professional theatre company that prides itself on being unique and bringing culturally diverse stories and plays to its’ stage. Not only do they have show options for your older, more mature children, but they often feature a Family Event show that is accessible and enjoyable for your younger ones.

Fairfax Indoor Playgrounds

For those parents that simply need a place for your young children, toddlers or babies to be active, exercise their bodies and minds in a warm, kid-friendly, safe location, Fairfax has endless options. Below is a list of my favorite Indoor Playgrounds for children.

Jolly Yolly – Fairfax

Nook – Fairfax, Mosaic

Busy Bee’s – Fairfax Corner

Chuck E’ Cheese – Fairfax

Interested in Family Therapy in Fairfax?

If you and your family are wanting to feel more connected, change your relationship dynamics, or get support with parenting your child through a tough time, our teen and family therapists can help. We have counseling offices in both Woodbridge and Fairfax, VA. If you want to begin teen or family therapy just follow these simple steps:

1.     Schedule an appointment at one of our convenient locations in Woodbridge or Fairfax.

2.     Meet with a skilled family therapist.

3.     Begin to explore new ways to parent and connect as a family.

Other Therapy Services at The Center for Connection, Healing and Change

Relationship problems are complicated and often individual members of your family need additional support. Our therapists want to help support your entire family. Therefore, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our Northern Virginia counseling offices. Our skilled, caring therapists provide counseling for individuals, EMDR, yoga for healing, meditation and mindfulness practice, couples therapy and marriage counseling. When you are ready, we would be honored to be a part of your relationship journey.

 

What is the difference between a Yoga Class and Yoga Therapy?

 

In western culture, public yoga classes are generally viewed as a system of exercise – opportunities to develop, deepen, or finesse a physical practice with like-minded individuals. More often than not, the class focus remains primarily on the physical body. While this approach can in still moments of peace and playful challenge that may offer a therapeutic effect, it does not always allow for caution or adaptations or self-advocacy to ensure your injuries or chronic conditions are taken into account.

Yoga Therapy:

Yoga therapy in Woodbridge, Virginia is an integrative mind-body therapeutic modality that adapts the yogic elements of breathing techniques, mindful movement, guided imagery, and meditation/visualization to address the disconnection and dis-ease in breath, body, and mind.

For individual work with a client, a treatment approach begins with an initial consultation to build an understanding of the client’s situation, environment, history and desired goals, and to perform musculoskeletal assessments. Additional sessions allow deeper exploration and continued refinement of how mind, body, and breath align. A client’s collaborative input is integral to creating a specialized, realistic, and sustainable plan of care that respects time allowance, interests, healthy challenge, and which progresses toward identified goals. Consistency and commitment are key.​

Plans of care are developed from scientific research and evidence-based practices proven to relieve suffering and/or illness symptoms; improve functioning across physical, energetic and mental-emotional layers; and, empower individuals through the process of self-reflection, healing, education, and personal evolution. Each approach is uniquely adapted to the needs of the individual client.

One does not need prior knowledge or experience with yoga to benefit from yoga therapy. Everything will be customized to meet you exactly as you are.

 

Dreaming of your future in Fairfax? Consider these benefits of Pre-marital or Pre-commitment Counseling

 

Fairfax, Virginia has created a reputation for itself which includes great diversity, renowned public schools, endless housing options as well as proximity to various business and government organizations across all industries. Fairfax can also be a wonderful combination of suburban and urban amenities for all partnerships. It’s a desirable community for a couple looking to set down some roots.

With all that’s been mentioned, it’s no surprise Fairfax attracts so many newly married couples. If you and your partner are considering Fairfax as a place to begin your marriage or higher level of commitment such as moving in together or starting a family, it’s important to consider pre-marital or pre-commitment counseling to support stability and connection in a wonderful, yet fast-paced and high-stress community. Consider these benefits to premarital or pre-commitment counseling whether you currently reside in Fairfax or plan to settle down in this lovely area.

Understanding the Way You Communicate

In all relationships, we create patterns. You might be noticing that pattern already exists within your relationship that hinders or perhaps prohibit effective communication. Living in Fairfax requires effective communication as you both grapple with the stressors of life – the high cost of living, the large population, and the high-pressure work environments. When working with our skilled pre-commitment or pre-marital therapists, you and your partner will map out how you communicate with another and how your different ways of dealing with emotion, tension, or upset may be creating a well-worn ‘dance’. You will understand how perceptions, meaning-making, and past relationship experiences might be getting in the way of really hearing and understanding one another.

Intentionally Create A Shared Future

With a better understanding of your communication patterns and cycles, you will be able to discuss potential challenges or vulnerabilities, as well as future goals, more successfully. Together, you can build a life in Fairfax with a partnership that is satisfying, connected, and able to withstand the challenges of life as they arise. Additionally, if you already have children, or hope to add children to your family, it can be helpful to think through parenting, extended family, spiritual beliefs, and goals for your family life in Fairfax.

Deepen Your Emotional Connection

As our couples therapists can guide you and your partner in understanding your communication patterns, while supporting discussions around the future, and offer space for your emotional connection to deepen. Our therapists have a skilled way of encouraging each of you in turning toward one another and sharing your longings and fears as you prepare for your relationship to grow, and marriage or next-steps to begin. Our therapists will be alongside your relationship, supporting you to overcome any conversation or issue that may be difficult to navigate. Ultimately, supporting each of you to feel seen, understood and heard in your relationship.

Pre-marital and pre-commitment counseling with our skilled and trained couples therapists will support your relationship to start off in a healthy place as you start your future in Fairfax.  For more information please see our pre-marital and pre-commitment therapy page here.

Interested in Couples Therapy or Sex Therapy in Fairfax?

If you and your partner are ready to mix things up and improve your relationship, our couples’ therapists can help. We have counseling offices in both Woodbridge and Fairfax, VA. If you want to begin couples therapy or marriage counseling, just follow these simple steps:

1. Schedule an appointment at one of our convenient locations in Woodbridge or Fairfax.
2. Meet with a skilled couples therapist.
3. Begin to explore connection and confidence as a couple.

Other Therapy Services at The Center for Connection, Healing and Change 

Relationship problems are complicated and often individual members of your family need additional support. Our therapists want to help support your entire family. Therefore, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our Northern Virginia counseling offices. Our skilled, caring therapists provide counseling for individuals, family therapy, sex therapy, yoga for healing, meditation and mindfulness practice, couples therapy and marriage counseling. When you are ready, we would be honored to be a part of your relationship journey.

How do you know it’s time for Marriage Counseling?

As single individuals, we often long for a partner who feels like “our person”. In fact, this is one of the core questions we ask couples in marriage counseling or couples therapy. Sometimes the search is short, other times, it’s long and arduous and painful. Nevertheless, when you find your “person”, you may not wonder about what you might do if the relationship doesn’t look or feel the same as it once did in the early months. Below is a list of indicators you and your partner may be ready for marriage counseling or couples therapy before these issues become a fracture that is hard to mend.

1. The tone of communication in your marriage is negative.

In the early stages, the relationship may feel whimsical and free of stress or angst. Over time, moments of disconnection or conflict may create an emotional distance or protection. As a result, sarcasm, resentment, anger, criticism or withdrawal may breed. These underlying emotions may create a tone of negativity, contempt or irritation. If you are recognizing you and your partner have gotten to this point, it may be time to connect with a professional for couples therapy.

2. Trust has been broken.

If someone steps outside of the relationship with an emotional or physical affair, rebuilding trust is often a requirement for the continuation of the relationship. Broken trust in a relationship does not always mean an affair. Trust is broken when a person feels ignored, betrayed or not prioritized. When emotional trust is broken, we begin to lose confidence our partner is going to be someone we can rely on, turn to or support us when we are needing them. Leaning into marriage counseling can support the rebuilding of trust in a safe, structured manner.

3. You hold back from your partner or spouse. 

 If you find yourself holding back on sharing your thoughts, feelings or needs with your partner, it is time to get into couples therapy to understand how your relationship got to this point. This “holding back” or sense of needing to protect oneself may have started due to the negative tone, broken trust, or feeling disconnected. It’s important to explore how the relationship got to this point, so you and your partner can find new ways to relate that are more open, vulnerable, soft, and responsive.

4. Repeating the same fight in your marriage over and over again.

In relationships, we create patterns. At times, these patterns can become a problem all on their own, regardless of the content of the fight. Painful patterns often mean that the needs of either partner are not getting met. In marriage counseling, you and your partner will identify the miscues or flaws within your current pattern. Your therapist can support you in creating a new, healthier map of communication. This map will feel clear and effective while nurturing each of your needs in the relationship. 

5. You feel more like roommates than lovers.

Has the sexual part of your relationship faltered? In couples counseling, you and your partner can work on understanding your intimate world much better. You can explore your individual relationship with your sexuality and how it may impact your relationship. Additionally, you can identify if other relational factors are getting in the way of maintaining a playful and desirable sexual relationship.

Interested in Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling in Fairfax, VA? 

 If you and your partner are ready to tackle any relationship “hot spots” and improve your connection, our couples’ therapists can help. We have counseling offices in both Woodbridge and Fairfax, VA. If you want to begin couples therapy or marriage counseling, just follow these simple steps:

1. Schedule an appointment at one of our convenient locations in Woodbridge or Fairfax.

2. Meet with a skilled couples therapist. 

3. Begin to explore connection and confidence as a couple.

 Other Therapy Services at The Center for Connection, Healing and Change 

Relationship problems are complicated and often individual members of your family need additional support. Our therapists want to help support your entire family. Therefore, we offer a wide range of mental health services in our Northern Virginia counseling offices. Our skilled, caring therapists provide counseling for individuals, family therapy, sex therapy, yoga for healing, meditation and mindfulness practice, couples therapy and marriage counseling. When you are ready, we would be honored to be a part of your relationship journey.

What is the difference between Religion and Spirituality?

As we find ourselves amongst uncertain times, many of us have begun asking ourselves the deeper soul questions of life: Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life? Historically, people have turned to religion or spirituality to help address / find meaning to these difficult, yet prominent questions of life.

For many of us, the terms religion and spirituality have been used interchangeably in times past. However, there is a current trend among the younger generation to use the term, spiritual but not religious to describe personal faith practices.

This phrase insinuates that there must in fact be a difference between the two terms. With some help from the Chopra Center* and my own experience as a Spiritual Director**, let’s take a look at what these differences might look like.

In my experience in the realm of spiritual formation, the easiest way for me to sum up the difference between religion and spirituality is by using terms coined by Franciscan Priest Richard Rohr: transaction vs. transformation.

Religion falls into the transaction category as it often mirrors a well-run family business. Often institutionalized, religions are based on the life of a historical or archetypal figure who is the subject of worship, devotion, and practice of community.

Generally, a religious institution is run by some sort of governing board that holds its members to specific, moral rules, doctrines, laws, sacred scriptures, and practices; thus being more external in nature. Much like the family business example, religion is deeply rooted in tradition.

As a means of accomplishing accurate transmission throughout history, the organization often requires an unconditional belief in the religion’s teachings. Due to the sometimes rigid rules for belonging, religions can often be seen as having an undercurrent of fear and exclusivity.

I want to point out that while to some of us the transactions of religion may seem pretty black and white, many individuals find the rigidity of religion to be a comfort in the midst of life chaos and crisis. For these individuals, the commonality of belief and community can create a solid grounding amidst the unpredictability of life.

While many remain in the religious pocket, it has been my experience that others may move from religion to spirituality, or jump straight into spirituality without a religious base.

For some who begin in a religious circle, the demands of religious practice and belief can weigh heavy and they may at some point look for an option that allows for a bit more diversity and freedom. Some may call this process faith deconstruction.

While religion may focus its worship on the historic or archetypal figure, Spirituality focuses on the practical application of the founder’s teachings and thus has a much more internal approach than religion. As the “family business” side of religion can be seen with the naked eye, spirituality is not often seen, but internally experienced by the individual.

This experience is often a shift in awareness of a connection to something larger than you and includes a following of this inner call to Spirit which often leads to personal transformation of consciousness.

Many who call themselves spiritual enjoy the less-formulaic aspects of faith and trust the “pathless path” of mystery and self-discovery. Instead of an unconditional belief in religious teachings, spirituality lends itself to truths that evolve and expand, which is a more direct experience of the soul.

While the members of religion enjoy a more exclusive, tight-knit family system, those engaged in spirituality see all beings as family and favor inclusivity of everyone being on a path to awakening and support these paths with unconditional love and kindness.

Depending on where you are on your journey toward inner awakening, either religion or spirituality could be a good fit. Even the path of agnosticism and atheism can be practices of awakening and are sources of “push back” which can actually push you forward.

Wherever you find yourself on the journey of awakening, I would find it a personal honor to sit with you as a travel companion of sorts; pointing out the sights you may have overlooked, the bumps that have you stuck, and the road map your life is already laying out before you.

Four Tips for Successful Family Blending

 

Although blended families are becoming more and more common, the unique difficulties around forming a new family continue to be a challenges experience for all involved.

Some common concerns from the parents include: How do you validate your new partner and your children without alienating the other? How do you create a bond with these new children? And for the children, how do they begin to cope with this new adult in their life while still trying to process the divorce? And… who are these new kids living in their house?

Here are some tips to support blending your family in a healthy and supportive way.

New Couple’s Bond is the glue!

The complex set of challenges ahead in blending a family requires a strong, united front. Ensure communication remains, open, respectful and safe between you and your partner. The commitment to maintaining a strong, healthy connection will support the both of you in addressing whatever problems that show up along the way.

Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

Those first few months, and even years, will require boundary setting with people in your extended network. Firstly, being clear with your previous spouse around your needs and expectations will support the new relationships to formulate and crystallize. Boundary clarification may also be needed for past family members, friends and colleagues.

Additionally, clear communication around the expectations of your new family members will support initial anxiety as the family blends. For example, being open about how affection will be shown between new family members can be helpful in creating safety with one another. Boundaries between you and your partner may also be needed around discipline and parenting conversations with biological and step children.

Allow for Grieving

The grieving does not only happen for you and the end of your marriage. The grieving occurs for your children as well around the loss of the past family unit. This grieving may even extend to their prior home, extended family members, friends and connections in that prior version of their life.

Reactions to step-family formation is a response to insecurity of a family looking one way and then suddenly looking different. Behaviors in children can show up as an attempt to protect the fear of “will this happen again?”. The experience of loss and need for grieving will be increased if the divorce is high conflict.

Find Support

You and your partner want to ensure you have support around you that will ground you when challenges are feeling tough or unmanageable. As the needs of each family members are likely to increase during this transition, engaging in family therapy can support the entire family system.

Family therapy for blended families allows the space for a professional to support the competing needs of each family member while normalizing the challenges of step-family formation. Additionally, the family can create new patterns of communication and connection in a healthy and intentional way.